Oh hot tamales! I’m back, and you thought I was dead. I am dead, but that’s beside the point, I’m a zombie… Go brains! I mean *cough* braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaainss… That’s how they say it, right? Right.  So it’s Saturday, and you know what that means. The weekend, but less importantly, I’m writing a review right now. So let’s get this show on the road.

Phew, I’m running out of breath, being undead is a lot of work, too much work for a zombie like me, you gotta shamble around, moan, and eat brains, it takes a lot out of a guy after a while, plus everybody else is trying to steal your food. And even getting your food is hard enough, humans really don’t want to get all ate. I was trying to eat this one lady, geez, you would not believe the audacity of her husband, the guy comes running at me with a freakin’ fire ax. Like this guy thinks I just come here to kill his wife, no I just wanted to take a bite out of her arm. So I’m just walking up to this woman, right? And this fool starts swinging at me with this ax, luckily my bud Jameson was there, he totally gnawed that jerks brains out. Yeah, we ate good that day.

Another thing I can’t stand about being a zombie, is how scared people get of me and my gang, Yeah, we’re a gang, deal with it. Like we come wandering into town, minding our own business, when this chick starts screaming, ok, whatever she sees a few strangers that look like trouble and she yells, I can deal with that, but then all of a sudden, right when we were walking over to calm her down she grabs her baby and books it. I love kids, man, and she just takes ‘em and runs away, faster than any of my home-boys.

The worst part about the zombie apocalypse is all the other zombies, sure a guys got to eat, but that chick with the baby who started running away got all eated up by some other zombies, I saw her first and these fools just go and get all that juicy human meat. I’m a hungry zombie.

Sorry about that. Review? Nah, I’m just going to go shamble on over to my neighbors house to see if anyone is held up there, maybe offer them some help, or they can offer me some brains, either or. See ya round…

brains