Parkour doesn’t look that hard. You just gotta do perilous jumps across rooftops above thirty story drops down to a street where some old lady is walking and if you fall, you’re probably going to splatter yourself across the pavement in front of her, scarring her for the rest of her life. Albeit a very short one, she is an old lady after all. Continue reading
Author Archives: phantumfish
[Ph!GR] Asura’s Wrath
I had a lot of Tagline ideas for this one… So, uh… Here you go.
Because screw physics.
Liam O’Brien, we need to stop meeting like this.
Who exactly do gods pray to?
The only game where fighting a giant red elephant is considered “normal”.
Press X to not die.
And finally…
I could take Asura on. Continue reading
[Because I forgot to do this yesterday] Call Of Duty: Black Ops 2
You smell dat? Smells like Hypocrisy. Continue reading
[Ph!GR] Fire Emblem: Awakening
… I could be playing Fire Emblem Awakening right now. Continue reading
[Ph!GR] F-Zero GX
Sonic’s got nothing on Captain Falcon. Continue reading
A Bacon Filled Rant. There’s no bacon. I’ve cheated you. I’ve cheated you and you didn’t even notice.
Hey, you know what makes me angry?
When I can’t come up with a title for a new blog thing I’mma do. Continue reading
Friendship is Magic
Since it’s Saturday and I have nothing better to do I would write a review. But I’m lazy so I’m just gonna talk.
If you watched Rolling In The Dough then you probably noticed a certain special guest. She’s new, and she’s never been in one of our videos before.
Rainbow Dash.
Wait? Why would we have Rainbow Dash in one of our videos? Because every pony who’s cool is in fact a Brony, including your fine feathered friends at the Empire of Strips of Bacon. Except for Calen and Jon, they’re dopus’.
Maybe if you keep your eye out in the coming year you’ll notice some very “different” things…
Some very “different pony related” things.
What I’m basically trying to say is that we’re going to be sneaking in a lot of My Little Pony references. And also dubstep. Because who doesn’t love MLP and Dubstep? Idiots.
[Ph!GR] Sleeping Dogs
These are not the Sleeping Dogs you’re looking for. Continue reading
Phantastic Award Things
I guess to be like everybody else I should just make an award list. And I’m only like three days late.
So here it is.
Phantastic! Award Things.
That’ll catch on. What do they look like? Umm… They look like what Oscars would look like if Oscars were lumberjacks. Ax and everything.
So without further adieu, let’s get this party started. Continue reading
25 Things To Do When You Make Eye Contact With A Stranger
I’m bored, so here’s a list of 25 things to do when you probably already read the title so I guess I don’t need to explain this. Unless reading titles is against your religion.
- Look away quickly.
- Nervously look around.
- Move your head without breaking eye contact.
- Wink.
- Do that finger curl thing that hot girls do to hot guys. You know the one.
- Rub your hands together, maniacally of course.
- Lick your lips.
- Unzip your pants.
- Do both.
- Scream bloody murder.
- Take a bite out of whatever you’re eating without breaking eye contact. (A hot dog would work best.)
- Say “target acquired” into your watch. Your phone would work, too.
- Stick your tongue out. That’s it. Just kind of stick it out.
- Sing a song.
- Sing a sexy song.
- Ask them to sing you a song.
- Slowly cross your eyes.
- Make a fist and then punch your other hand’s palm with said fist.
- Recite the declaration of independence.
- Start doing those weird hand things they do in Naruto.
- Read Fifty Shades of Grey to them… Ok, that’s probably a bad idea.
- Touch your chest. I don’t know why, and I don’t know which part of your chest. Wherever it would be creepiest.
- Scream “YOLO!” and physically assault them.
- Are these getting a little bit too… you know… creepy?
- And if you’re completely bat-crap crazy you could introduce yourself and have a pleasant conversation with them, who know, you might turn them into a friend.
- But go with the YOLO thing, it’s probably for the best.
Oh, and happy end of the world… I guess that happened today.