25 Things To Do When You Make Eye Contact With A Stranger

I’m bored, so here’s a list of 25 things to do when you probably already read the title so I guess I don’t need to explain this. Unless reading titles is against your religion.

  • Look away quickly.
  • Nervously look around.
  • Move your head without breaking eye contact.
  • Wink.
  • Do that finger curl thing that hot girls do to hot guys. You know the one.
  • Rub your hands together, maniacally of course.
  • Lick your lips.
  • Unzip your pants.
  • Do both.
  • Scream bloody murder.
  • Take a bite out of whatever you’re eating without breaking eye contact. (A hot dog would work best.)
  • Say “target acquired” into your watch. Your phone would work, too.
  • Stick your tongue out. That’s it. Just kind of stick it out.
  • Sing a song.
  • Sing a sexy song.
  • Ask them to sing you a song.
  • Slowly cross your eyes.
  • Make a fist and then punch your other hand’s palm with said fist.
  • Recite the declaration of independence.
  • Start doing those weird hand things they do in Naruto.
  • Read Fifty Shades of Grey to them… Ok, that’s probably a bad idea.
  • Touch your chest. I don’t know why, and I don’t know which part of your chest. Wherever it would be creepiest.
  • Scream “YOLO!” and physically assault them.
  • Are these getting a little bit too… you know… creepy?
  • And if you’re completely bat-crap crazy you could introduce yourself and have a pleasant conversation with them, who know, you might turn them into a friend.
  • But go with the YOLO thing, it’s probably for the best.

Oh, and happy end of the world… I guess that happened today.

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