Queen of the Bacon has arrived, my wonderful peasants. It is I, Bacqueen–or as some might know me–Allison Charmaine–or even Princess Allsion. Yes, yes. Hold your applause, my dear friends! I come baring wonderful news!  It is this: I am making my first post! You may applaud now! …Now! I SAID APPLAUD–thank you.

I’m going to talk about the assembling of our beautiful empire: Bacon Strip Empire. Ah, yes, our skyscrapers reach beyond the heavens with their grease, painting the skies with red and darker red and even darker red than that of which is darker red! It all began on a mid-summer’s day of June in the year of 2011. I just met up with some of my fellow bacon-buddies (before we all realized we were actually bacon) from The Freezer Land, and laying upon a poorly-inflated air-mattress, we began pondering on what-such adventures we should undergo–for I had to spend my time wisely before I had to return to my own country (formerly known as Inside the Skillet…where it is plenty hot). And so, as the few of us pre-microwaved bacon-buddies searched and flailed for a new adventure…it hit us. We were going to make a video.

And thus The Chess Master was created! Realizing how exciting and greasy it felt to us, we continued filming more. Eventually, our whole pre-microwaved bacon-buddies gathered and decided to make these videos a regular thing, and be called a name. To make a few giggles, here are some ideas that crossed our minds: Angry Pendulum, Back of My Head, Letter Blue, Hill Busters, The Swift Elder, Funny Bone Salad, Grizzly Grapes, Silent Souffle’, Thunderlicious, and even Fat Cat Entertainment.

After killing ourselves with laughter that burned a hole through our stomachs, a few of the other pre-microwaved bacon-buddies concluded our final name in which we’d go by: Bacon Strip Empire.

Thus, we finally became microwaved bacon-buddies, and have built our Empire upon the Bacon Heights, striving to reach Baconly Hills so that all will know of our greasiness.

So that, my dear friends and dirty peasants, is how my empire came to be. And why do I call it my empire? Because I am Princess Allsion. C’mon, give me a break. I gotta have something to go off of!

Currently I reside Inside the Skillet, striving to take part in more filming action of Bacon Strip Empire. But as long as it’s my empire, I have one last thing to say about our name:

I approve.