This game features a boss that is four teenage ninja Koopas. They are coloured Green, Yellow, Red and Black… Nintendo really missed a golden opportunity with that one.

After doing a quick walk around my house to see what games I’ve been playing recently that I haven’t reviewed I realized all I’ve been doing for the past three weeks is playing Fire Emblem Awakening. (Not gonna lie. 2013 is going to have to produce something amazing from now until December or we all know what’s going to be my GOTY.) So I’ve decided to go ahead and review one of my all-time favorite games from back when I was but a taller leprechaun. Paper Mario.

For the N64

Paper Mario 64.

That is the game.

So I was like a little baby when this game came out so I can’t really talk about the nostalgia I get. But I can tell you the story of how I came across this game.

Basically Calen (The Bearded One as he likes to be called.) bought the game and then was done with it. So I bought it from him for like 15 bucks. What a deal! And I can safely say that after 12 years the game totally holds up.

So here`s the story. Bowser kidnaps Peach, Mario saves her. BUT WAIT! Bowser actually steals the entirety of Peach`s Castle. Apparently he had built another flying castle underneath it without anyone noticing. Geez. No wonder Peach is constantly getting kidnapped, her guards don’t even notice when someone`s building a giant friggin’ castle right underneath them. BUT WAIT! Bowser didn’t just build a floating castle underneath Peach’s, he also flew up into space and stole the Star Rod. A magical staff that grants wishes. So, what does His Royal Highness King Koopa do with it? Friggin’ makes himself invincible from Mario’s attacks. He couldn’t just wish Mario had a rare leg disease that rendered him incapable of jumping. That’s like his whole shtick. So Mario gets thrown off the castle and lands in the forest somewhere. He is then taken in by a family of Goombas who promptly murder and cannibalize him. The rest of the game consists of Luigi taking revenge on the monsters that… Nah, They just take him in and tutorialize his hammer for him then the little boy Goomba who is essentially Goombella but a dood. Then Mario goes on a big ol’ adventure through the land and gets Peach back. Of course there are some things he does throughout the game.

So, what’s new about Paper Mario? Well, it does nothing that Thousand Year Door didn’t. And I literally remembered something it did. The spin dash move. Basically, by pressing Z while moving through the world you could make Mario do a little spin. They took it out for Thousand Year. I don’t know why they did.

So. Paper Mario is a good game. It’s pretty old but it’s still good.

Go buy it. I don’t know where you can buy it. Probably on the Wii store.

Go do that. Right now. Do that right now.