As the title implies, I’m making progress on eating that fifty foot sub I bought but now for other, less important matters. It may have occurred to all, many, some, or none that I am making a second game of the game variety. Now we all loved The Quest for Triumph video game because it was so massive and took for ever to beat but I figured perhaps a game that actually is big in a not so sarcastic way would be nice too. What could this game possibly feature? This game contains REAL people in a fictional scenario. Bruce Lee you say? Yes I most certainly am in there but I’m not Bruce Lee. It also contains eleven others of the bacon variety.
The game starts off with everyone’s favorite tall super hero, Taran. He is traveling the cosmos in search for true bacon, or escaping a mad pig emperor. One of those two. Aboard the ship are his cronies of the cousin variety… and others. The initial party besides him is Dale, the frightening heavy armored beast warrior as in real life. Me, we all know I’m a dwarf so don’t ask any questions about it. Also Allison the mage because in real life she can shoot fire out of her hands. Other members to follow throughout the game are Tyrone our one-eyed friend, Mico who knows beardjitsu, Tamarah, Jonathan who crafts flying airships out of soggy wood and stomach acid, Jaymian who isn’t a pirate, Chelsey who may or may not use a bow and arrow, Bryan the user of musical vengeance, and Walker… he’s a talking dog with a goblin’s face.
The story is quite basic and I could probably summarize it in one sentence. So here it goes. The Baconites escape from the Pigtovian empire and settle Beefaria which they rename Porkolia which doesn’t sit too well with the native Beefarians led by King Cowludus and Young Man Gryph, as the prince and then Emperor Pigtovia pursues these Baconites to Porkolia and now the Baconites have two enemies of the beef and pork varietys and as they go further on this quest and track down all their missing cousins they need to find the stones of Pork, Beef, Bison and Mutton which are needed to unseal something Chuck Norrisy and the bad guys want this Chuck Norrisy item of interest to win the war against bacon (which is laughable) and yet by doing so they will unseal an alien who eats planets for breakfast. There that was one sentence.
I am about half ways done with this delicious bacon flavoured game. It has about ten hours of gameplay so far… maybe more. It will feature four or five world maps to travel in between and we shall witness some serious skills performed by MrMarshmallow, the Baqueen, and Phantumfish. The game itself I’m hoping to have released by summer so I’m giving it some serious effort like when Frodo threw the ring into Mt. Doom… oh wait, he didn’t. Silly Frodo. So stay tuned for the next episode of Things Calen is or are Talking About.