{"id":858,"date":"2013-04-14T13:39:08","date_gmt":"2013-04-14T19:39:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/baconstripempire.wordpress.com\/?p=858"},"modified":"2013-07-17T08:19:49","modified_gmt":"2013-07-17T14:19:49","slug":"phantastic-game-reviews-bio-shockingly-infinite","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/phantastic-game-reviews-bio-shockingly-infinite\/","title":{"rendered":"[Ph!GR] Bio-shockingly Infinite"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Bioshock<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

When Booker drinks the Devil\u2019s Kiss Vigor he says \u201cYou only live once.\u201d Was that deliberate?<\/b><\/p>\n

Bioshock Infinite is a game and I really like it so I\u2019m going to make this quick so I can get back to playing Bioshock Infinite. Sure, I already completed it. But I could stand to do it again. You know how it is.<\/p>\n

Bioshock Infinite is the sequel\/prequel\/ I don\u2019t even know to Bioshock 1 and Bioshock 2. The first two Bioshocks took place in the dystopian underwater city named \u201cRapture\u201d in the 19Whatever\u2019s. Bioshock Infinite however takes place in the utopian city in the sky named \u201cColumbia\u201d in 1912. Quite the change of scenery. So, I don\u2019t even know if this game has anything to do with the other two.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m going to keep the story as spoiler free as possible. And no, I\u2019m not just saying that to get your guard down to spoil anything. There\u2019s too much to cover for me to be able to spoil the ending easily without you noticing.<\/p>\n

Seriously. There\u2019s a lot to cover.<\/p>\n

I guess as is the case with most games. You play as a character. This particular character is Booker DeWitt.\u00a0 As is customary, the character has a profession. Booker is a private investigator. And in typical video game fashion, the character is sent on some sort of quest. In Booker\u2019s case, he is sent to a lighthouse to retrieve a girl and bring her to New York… Unharmed. (I deliberately made that last part sound creepy, but it\u2019s not.) Booker is brought to the lighthouse by two wisecracking smart people. Who probably become important, but I wouldn\u2019t know. Booker climbs to the top of the lighthouse to see what\u2019s what. There he notices three bells. He rings the bells in a special order and then the sky goes all cray and red and alla \u201cBWEEEEOOOOMMMMM!!!\u201d and then Booker\u2019s like \u201cWHADDA POOP!?\u201d and then the lighthouse light is like \u201cBloop bloop\u201d and then a chair appears in it\u2019s place and Booker decides he want to get a haircut. But then it clamps him down and some stuff folds up around him and he\u2019s like \u201cnuh-uh. I don\u2019t want no haircut tonight.\u201d Then suddenly the chair\u2019s like. \u201cI ain\u2019t no barber chair son. I\u2019M A MOTHER BUCKING ROCKET!\u201d and then SHEOOW POOOWWW WOOOOOOOO!! THEY\u2019RE FLYING THROUGH THE AIR WOOOSSSSHHH POOOKKKHKKH SHAZAM! THEN THEY BREAK THROUGH THE CLOUDS AND!!! BEEWWWW SHOOSH BAKAM! THEN THEY LAND AND IT\u2019S ALL! KRUNCCHCKCHKCHAEOIJNTLJERSTNBP[WRRRRRRR ;8,MGEW\/JTR.D 8NGVYI-G 9V3UJ6. U,MNWETRPH[J and it\u2019s all fine.<\/p>\n

Booker gets off the rocket and says. \u201cI want my money back. That haircut sucked.\u201d And the rocket replies\u201d Nuh-uh son. NO MOTHER BUCKING REFUNDS!\u201d and it shoots away to probably kill some pigeons or something. Unfortunately for Booker, he lands up in some city that\u2019s kind of floating in the sky. Unfortunatelier for Booker he also landed in some welcoming area that\u2019s completely flooded. Intentionally though. Makes it look cool. Booker makes his way down to where some preacher\u2019s preaching. (I guess if they made a video game about him that would be his profession.) Booker tells the man of the Lord that he requires passage into the city. The holy man tells him that the only way into the city is through the \u201csweet waters of baptism.\u201d Then he drowns Booker. The end.\u00a0 Actually Booker just wakes up looking at some majestic statue of Benjamin Franklin. Booker makes his way through the city and ends up signing for some raffle accidentally. Hey, he\u2019s a bit slow. Give him time. And as luck would have it. Booker wins said raffle. And gets to claim his prize. Throwing a baseball at a newlywed couple. Which at its essence doesn\u2019t make sense. So take into consideration that this game is set in the early 1900\u2019s. Also take into consideration that black people were not well respected in the early 1900\u2019s. Also take into consideration that the groom is white and the bride is black. Also take into consideration that the city of Columbia is filled with racists. Then maybe this situation makes sense. Take into consideration that I\u2019m not good at explaining. So, if you\u2019re any sort of good human being you\u2019ll choose to throw the ball at the announcer. Unfortunately for Bad-Luck Booker. Two cops notice that he has the letters \u201cAD\u201d branded on the back of his hand and grab him. The whole AD thing is explained later. Like 5 seconds later by the announcer. He says \u201cwhere\u2019d you get that brand? Can I get one too? Because that brand is the brand of the False Shepherd. Who is not a good dude.\u201d Yes, basically Columbia believes that some person with the letters AD branded on the back of his hand will show up from the \u201cSodom Below\u201d and steal their Lamb. The whole Lamb thing is explained later. But right now Mr. DeWitt\u2019s got himself in a heap of trouble and he can only use one thing to save himself. A baseball. Booker throws the ball in the air and it\u2019s all like PWEEEOOOOHHH in slow-motion and then the cop looks at it like \u201cOOOHHH\u201d and then Booker grabs the other cops hand which so happens to be in some kind of hand glaive. And he shoves it into the first cops face like BRRR-KNKNKNKNKCHCCHCHCHHHHHH! And the cops like \u201cOh gee, oh my. There happens to be a whirring hook inside my cranium. I say good chap, please do remove this rotating wheel of death from my frontal lobe and you shall be greatly rewarded.\u201d But alas. Booker DeWitt has no shortage of wit and begins using the device known as a \u201cSky-hook\u201d to eradicate the lives of a couple dozen men of the law.<\/p>\n

The Sky-hook lends itself to some interesting gameplay opportunities. Aside from using it to grind up people\u2019s heads like some kind of terrifying peppermill. The Sky-hook can also be used to get to beneficial vantage points up above your enemies. You can also use the Sky-hook as a mode of transportation. There are these rails in the sky all over Columbia which you can jump on with your sky-hook. Then you can zip around and act all cool.<\/p>\n

Eventually, after much bloodshed. Booker finally finds the girl and returns her to New York\u2026 Unharmed. Maybe. I\u2019m not spoiling anything. He could actually fail his quest in the end. You never know.<\/p>\n

So, here\u2019s the coolest part of the game. The girl, Elizabeth. Her whole roll in the game is to be awesome and make you question the laws of escort quests. How it kind of starts is with Elizabeth showing up and Booker saying he\u2019s going to get her out of the city. I obviously took this to mean I was going to be protecting her the entire time and if she dies then I\u2019ll have to restart from the last checkpoint. But in a very short time it becomes apparent that Elizabeth is far more good than bad. She actually ended up protecting me more than I protected her. When I was low on health she would chuck a health pack to me, when I was low on ammo she would throw me another gun. She can also open up tears. (Not like tear that sad people do. But tear that cheap jeans do.) and what tears allow you to do is summon extra things into the world to help with combat, like some health packs or an animatronic president with a Gatling gun… that sounds ridiculous to say aloud. And you never have to worry about keeping her safe. She knows what she\u2019s doing.<\/p>\n

But with such a great thing there comes a distinct disadvantage. Whenever Elizabeth isn\u2019t around I become really sad. I almost feel cheated when she leaves me and I have to fight by myself. I guess that\u2019s actually a really smart idea gameplay wise. You start the game off and play for a solid two hours without Elizabeth so you know that Booker is fully capable of fending for himself. He can use guns aplenty and Vigors, which if you\u2019re a fan of the previous Bioshocks, can be easily compared to Plasmids. So at the end of the day, you know the game isn\u2019t any worse at its core without Elizabeth, it\u2019s just greatly improved when she\u2019s present.<\/p>\n

What I\u2019m saying is<\/p>\n

Flying solo = yes<\/p>\n

Elizabeth = very yes<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Something else I should mention are the Vigors. Vigors allow Booker to do some crazy stuff, like throw fireballs or throw a group of people into the air. Unlike the previous Bioshocks where you had access to a whole bunch of Plasmids and could only equip a certain number at a time. In Infinite, you only get eight and can have all eight equipped at all times and have two that you can easily switch between in a jam. And like I said before, the Vigors are crazy. Especially when you pick one up. Like for example the Undertow Vigor, which showcases some nasty looking barnacles showing up all over Booker\u2019s forearms. And the barnacles are bleeding. But it\u2019s fine. The screen flashes white and his hands are completely normal again.<\/p>\n

I guess the only negative thing is\u2026 it\u2019s a little racist..? That\u2019s honestly the worst thing about Infinite. It portrays the times accurately. You know. As accurate as it can, given the circumstances.<\/p>\n

So I guess if I were to give this game an honest appraisal I would say.<\/p>\n

OHMIGAWSH! BIOSHOCK INFINITE IS THE SINGLE GREATEST GAME EVER MADE! IF YOU DISAGREE THEN YOU CAN GO JUMP OFF A FLOATING CITY!<\/p>\n

Now if you\u2019ll excuse me. I have some Bioshock Infinite to play.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When Booker drinks the Devil\u2019s Kiss Vigor he says \u201cYou only live once.\u201d Was that deliberate?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2,5],"tags":[34,54,106,108,523,186,522,524,457],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/858"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=858"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/858\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1155,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/858\/revisions\/1155"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=858"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=858"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=858"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}