{"id":738,"date":"2012-12-08T13:36:57","date_gmt":"2012-12-08T19:36:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/baconstripempire.wordpress.com\/?p=738"},"modified":"2013-07-17T08:19:49","modified_gmt":"2013-07-17T14:19:49","slug":"phantastic-game-reviews-far-cry-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/phantastic-game-reviews-far-cry-3\/","title":{"rendered":"[Ph!GR] Far Cry 3"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Far<\/a><\/p>\n

Heart of insanity? Not even.<\/b><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure how to start this\u2026<\/p>\n

FAR CRY 3! Yeah<\/p>\n

That\u2019ll do.<\/p>\n

I kind of didn\u2019t want to review Far Cry 3 because I\u2019ve been too busy playing Far Cry 3 to do it. As you could probably guess from the number \u201c3\u201d behind the name \u201cFar Cry\u201d, this game is the third game in the Far Cry series. If you didn\u2019t guess that then you were probably last in the line for brains. I\u2019ve never played the other two Far Cry\u2019s but I can tell that the stories have nothing to do with each other, I know that because the story actually makes sense given my limited knowledge.<\/p>\n

The start of the game is pretty much the beginning I guess. There\u2019s an opening cinematic of some of those rascally teenagers partying on some sort of resort island. These rascally teenagers came here because one of them just got his pilots license and he\u2019s super popular or something, then they go sky diving and suddenly the main character is in a cage and some crazy Mexican guy is telling him about his background. The main characters name is Jason Brody; he\u2019s tied up with his older brohemia Grant Brody. Don\u2019t familiarize yourself with him; he dies in the first five minutes. The crazy Mexicans name is Vaas. Kind of like the word Vase but not at all. Vaas tells the wonder brothers that he\u2019s going to sell them on the black market because pretty white boys sell well. Vaas has to leave to take a dump or something, giving the Super Brody Bros. some time to take the duct tape off their wrists. Vaas really should have tied them down better. Then Grant kills a man and Jason freaks out. Wait, I\u2019m playing as Jason. This is a First-Person Shooter. I tend to shoot people while playing these. Why am I scared? Well, I\u2019ll answer you, me. This sets up character development. Grant and Jason almost escape from the camp when Vaas finishes doing up his fly and busts a cap in Grant\u2019s neck. Then he lets Jason run away and he yells \u201cRun Forrest Run.\u201d (It\u2019s a quote from that Tom Hanks movie. Saving Private Ryan, right?) Once Jason is far enough away he decides now would be a good time to fall off a cliff into a river\u2026 Maybe I play as someone else? NO! That\u2019s not how character development works, me! Jason is plucked from the river by some guy who proceeds to give him some sweet ink. This guy, named Dennis Rogers (he looks more like a Derrick) is the leader of a group of rebels living on this island of crazy talk. Denny\u2019s tells Jimmy-Bro that the rebels need his help to stop Vaas\u2019 pirates and J. J. Abrams says that he still needs to find his friends, the two decide to kill two stoners with one falcon and do both at the same time.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s when I stopped paying attention to anything story wise.<\/p>\n

Let me tell me *guh* you about what all happened to me in my first hour and a half of playing this gem.<\/p>\n

I started off by buying a pistol, like I was forced to do. I didn\u2019t enjoy this one bit but I\u2019m the kind of guy who rolls with the flow so I just went on my way. After falling down countless ravines because I couldn\u2019t see any roads due to my lack of a map, I decided to chart the area, to do such, you have to climb to the top of a radio tower and turn it on, a la Assassins Creed. I set out towards the nearest tower (every icon shows up on your map even if your map doesn\u2019t show up on your map.) After finding out how to climb onto ledges I was all set. Unfortunately, I hadn\u2019t mastered the art of jumping across ledges and I sent Jason Brody on a magical journey straight to the Game Over screen. I finally achieved my initial goal and was rewarded with a zip-line ride down to the earth. I later learned that this wasn\u2019t such a treat as zip-lines are more common on Rook Island than cockroaches on a woman of ill-repute. After mapping the area I noticed that there were symbols on the map that were shaped like animals. Ok, that\u2019s pretty cool. But wait, Desmond had taught me how to craft items out of animal skins. I checked and saw that I needed some deer hide to craft an ammo belt or some crap and decided to head to the area with the big deer picture on it. I searched the nearby area for any deer, but I was having difficulty seeing them as my eye sight was hindered by all these inconvenient trees. But Mr. Rogers had also taught me another skill, creating drugs! Performance enhancing drugs. Performance enhancing drugs that let me see animals through walls. I whipped up a couple batches of my make-shift heroin and pumped it right into my eye holes. I entered a drug induced state and realized that there was a herd of deer standing right behind me. Right as I was about to take a shot with my bow and arrow (I had gotten a bow and arrow by then) I was straight-up mauled by a cougar. Now let me just take a little side trail here. Have you ever been playing Modern Future \u2018Merica Shoot Terrorists Simulator 2010 ,2011, 2012 and so-on and ever been genuinely fearful of something happening in the game? No? Didn\u2019t think so. I started running for my life from this animal because I had literally forgotten I was carrying a rather large assault rifle at the time. I\u2019m being serious right now, I had been so scared that I just ran to my jeep and drove away. That\u2019s something very few games can accomplish. After I had a change of pants and partook in a quick face-palm, I decided to go back and maybe teach this cougar a thing or two about straight-up mauling guys who are just trying to make a living on Delfino Island. Surprisingly enough the cougar was still prowling the area, killing all the deer. Thanks chump. Now I had everything I needed to take on an enemy base. There are two approaches to taking on an enemy base, the direct approach, which involves lots of bullets and screaming and the stealth approach which requires precision\u2026 I, being the stellar precision master I am, opted for a more direct approach. After reloading my save I changed my tactics to actually scoping out the area. Jason starts the game off with a camera that you can use to tag enemies to keep track of them while you\u2019re sneaking around. The stealth in this game is really good, as much as it pains me to say but the stealthiness in this game might almost be better than in Dishonored.\u00a0 I eventually cleared out the base and claimed it as my own. Now I could do business there and accept jobs, which is nifty. A while later I was out in the wild with my bow (which I had named Clementine) and caught myself making Hunger Games references. Then I had realized every time I shot someone with a bow and killed them I had said something stupid like \u201cMay the odds be ever in your favour\u201d and sometimes, much to my chagrin, I would say \u201cDistrict 12\u2026 SWAG!\u201d Then I stopped playing because I needed to wash my mouth out with bleach.<\/p>\n

So that\u2019s my hour and a half of Far Cry 3.<\/p>\n

I mentioned character development at the start of the story summary, so here\u2019s what happens. Basically, Jason starts off as a pathetic weakling who complains about murder and other stuff but as you progress through the story, Jason turns into this crazy guy who isn\u2019t killing people to save his friends, he\u2019s just killing them to have fun. Which I guess if you\u2019re super philosophical, you could turn into some twenty page paper about the dangers of water buffalo.<\/p>\n

Another sign of character progression is Jason\u2019s tatau (Which I assume means tattoo, because that`s exactly what it is.) Jason`s tatau starts off as a little tribal arm band on his forearm and as he levels up and becomes more proficient the tatau gets more designs until it covers his whole forearm. And it looks really cool. I like upgrading my skills just to see what part of the tatau I unlock next.<\/p>\n

How about them mechanics? I don\u2019t know, Jason can fix broken glass by pointing a welder at the hood of his car\u2026 so he\u2019s pretty good. Wait. Game mechanics? Oh, well why didn\u2019t you just say so. Since I\u2019m on the topic of cars I guess I\u2019ll just start there. Vehicles are a big part of this game, because this game is a big part of this game so getting around on foot would not be so easy. The vehicles handle soundly, it\u2019s a little too easy to get them out of control, but that\u2019s probably because I don\u2019t follow roads and just try to get from point A to point B in a straight line, that includes through jungles, villages and off cliffs. There are also gliders which are fun to use but rare to find, because they\u2019re really only on higher areas. But I guess what everyone cares about when they play a first-person shooter is the first-person shooting, which is solid. Like a rock. Like a solid rock. Not a liquid rock. It\u2019s really easy to move from cover to cover, and unlike in other FPSs, you can actually shoot from cover without awkwardly standing up, which is nice. Since real people are fragile and can\u2019t take bullets until their eyes start bleeding profusely then wait behind a chest high wall for all the blood to recede back into their bodies, Jason doesn\u2019t regenerate health. Not in the traditional sense. You start the game with two bars of health; you can upgrade your health bar(s) which adds to your tatau. But if one of your bars isn\u2019t completely damaged it\u2019ll regenerate by itself, if it\u2019s all gone then you have to regenerate it by yourself, you can use medicine to get a quick fix or you can just fix yourself by yourself. My favorite thing about that system is that each time you manually heal yourself, Jason does a little animation with his hands. This is especially hilarious because I got mauled by a shark and Jason just plucks a shard of glass out of the back of his hand\u2026 lolwut? Also, when he\u2019s driving he sometimes bites a bullet out of his arm and then spits it out, like he makes a spitting noise and you see the bullet fly towards the dashboard and it makes clinking sounds\u2026 I just find that funny.<\/p>\n

Also the game looks super nice, I really like the way the sun shines through the trees and stuff. I guess I have to talk about the bad stuff\u2026 Is there a bad stuff? No, not really. The worst thing I can think of is that it and it\u2019s really easy to get caught on stuff whenever you pause it there\u2019s this really annoying bass noise that plays. If those are the worst things this game does then it\u2019s a pretty fricking good game.<\/p>\n

My rating for Far Cry 3 is\u2026 Possible game of the year. Maybe at the end of December I\u2019ll do an award thingy and you can see which one I pick.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Heart of insanity? Not even.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2,5],"tags":[523,522,524],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/738"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=738"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/738\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1165,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/738\/revisions\/1165"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=738"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=738"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=738"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}