{"id":604,"date":"2012-07-28T10:32:06","date_gmt":"2012-07-28T16:32:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/baconstripempire.wordpress.com\/?p=604"},"modified":"2013-07-17T08:19:06","modified_gmt":"2013-07-17T14:19:06","slug":"phantastic-game-reviews-kirbys-return-to-dreamland","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/phantastic-game-reviews-kirbys-return-to-dreamland\/","title":{"rendered":"[Ph!GR] Kirby’s Return To Dreamland"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

SATURDAY!!!!@!!!!!!!!!!@!@&*!%T*!&#()$#(&%(^@$^*(I$&<\/p>\n

stubbed my toe srry :(<\/p>\n

So, what does this mean, you ask? You stupid? You been paying attention? You stupid.<\/p>\n

REVIEW TIME!<\/p>\n

But what? I don\u2019t know, how\u2019s about\u2026 Kirby\u2019s Return To Dreamland. Yeah, that\u2019s cool, Kirby, he\u2019s that plumber that saves the princess right? No? he\u2019s that guy that wears that funky green hat and saves the princess? No? He\u2019s that guy that wears green power armor, kills aliens in space and saves the purple holographic princess right? No? Well, then I have no idea.<\/p>\n

Whazzat? He\u2019s a tiny pink ball that eats everything in his path and he doesn\u2019t save the princess? WHO WOULD PLAY A GAME LIKE THAT!? WHAT THE CRAP IS THAT!?<\/p>\n

Whew. Wait, what just happened? I was in the bathroom\u2026 Who wrote this? Whatever, I\u2019ll use it.\u00a0 So, Kirby? Yeah, I know Kirby, he sucks up every living creature he comes across, he\u2019s like a mass murderer and he kills everyone including their families, yeah, I know the guy.<\/p>\n

So, Kirby\u2019s Return to Dreamland, I guess they called it this because it\u2019s actually Kirby\u2019s second game on the Wii after Kirby\u2019s Epic Yarn, which was painfully adorable. And I\u2019m surprised that I didn\u2019t write a review of it, I guess now I have something to do. Anyways, Epic Yarn was a departure from the classic Kirby style of being able to suck up all them fools and floating around pretending you were good at video games. Nintendo took all of that classic Kirby action and stapled some four-player co-op to it, and thus was born Kirby\u2019s Epi- no, no, not that. Kirby\u2019s Return to Yarnla- no, that\u2019s not real. Kirby\u2019s Return to Dreamland.<\/p>\n

STORY!<\/p>\n

Kirby\u2019s Epic Yarn\u2026 crap. Return to Dreamland takes place in Dreamland, which is like this planet that\u2019s shaped like a star, looks totally normal when you\u2019re standing on it but from space it\u2019s all shiny and golden. Kirby and his three friends that he always drags along, (King Dedede, Meta Knight, and a Waddle Dee that has a bandana on,) are running around eating cake or some crap, when a space ship falls from the sky, literally a space ship. It\u2019s a high-tech pirate ship, with oars and everything. Kirby, being the moron that he is decides to run inside this mysterious ship. It\u2019s the Kirby universe so nothing is actually scary at all. Inside he meets an alien, by the name of Kevin, or something stupid like that. Kevin tells them that his ship broke into five parts while he was crashing, conveniently scattered across Dreamland in five distinct areas. Then Kirby and the three amigos embark on a journey around the neighborhood, collecting all sorts of knick-knacks and doo-dads.<\/p>\n

THE END!<\/p>\n

Seriously that\u2019s the story in a nutshell. Kirby games are not known for their deep and emotional, and heart breaking stories.<\/p>\n

The game features four player co-op, which is nice and allows you to yell at your friends. The other three players can choose between King Dedede Meta Knight and the Waddle Dee or another Kirby. Each of the characters have \u201cunique\u201d play styles, when in actuality, they\u2019re just one of Kirby\u2019s copy abilities, King Dedede is Hammer, Meta Knight is Sword and Waddle Dee is Spear. The benefit to playing as one of these is that you can\u2019t lose the ability and Kirby is kind of shardy without an ability. Co-op is a huge help in this game, the difficulty between having one and two players is the same difference as eating a steak or being eaten by a steak, one is far less enjoyable than the other. It\u2019s up to you to decide which is which. Seriously, I tried beating a level like fifteen times by myself, and then when Fair-haired Calen joined in as King Dedede we beat the level with no trouble. I think this is because the game doesn\u2019t actually scale to the number of players; it\u2019s just the same number all the time. Maybe the hard-core Kirby players (I can\u2019t keep a straight face, Hard-core Kirby players\u2026 lol,) will enjoy the difficulty, but for me it was kind of unforgiving. Maybe I\u2019ve got to try the fly over the level tactic. The biggest problem with the co-op is the fact that you can jump on the back of your friends, sure it\u2019s like one of those, \u201cHey, your friends probably suck at platforming games, let them ride around on you during the tough parts\u201d mechanics, but sometimes, I\u2019m just jumping, and I jump too close to Calen, accidentally then suddenly I\u2019m sitting on his back, and I\u2019m completely immobilized, maybe the system would work better if I could like shoot fireballs off his back or something. So the piggy back system gets in the way when you\u2019re unintentional about it, but when you want to get a piggy-back ride, it\u2019s almost as if it doesn\u2019t exist at all, like you\u2019re just jumping on top of your friend, making yourself look like a tool.<\/p>\n

When you beat Return to Dreamland you get like this \u201cHyper-Elite-Master-Quest mode\u201d which just lops your health bar in half and has twenty enemies slapping you in the face at all times.<\/p>\n

The gameplay and controls are pretty solid, you get infinity double-jumps which is where the fly over the level tactic comes into play. If you play as Kirby, which first player is required to do. You can inhale certain enemies and gain their rights and freedoms\u2026 and powers. Stuff like fire, ice, hammer, and ninja, to name a few. There are maybe around twenty different powers, each with their own special moves list\u2026 except for the rock, that crap is useless. Every power (except for the rock) has your standard attack, an air attack, some get power attacks where you hold in the attack button, some have directional attacks, sprinting attacks, power air attacks, power directional air attacks, and what have you\u2026 except for the rock.<\/p>\n

The amazing rock action. Look at all that action.<\/p>\n

Another big thing about this game, is the super copy abilities, these are like regular copy abilities, only screen clearing, you basically suck up a certain type of enemy, and the you kill everything in your way. I\u2019m not kidding, all will fall, all fall at the might of Kirby.<\/p>\n

I usually don\u2019t mention a games soundtrack unless I\u2019m really fond of it. Not a lot of games get the honor of actually impacting me with music, but this was one of those games. The music isn\u2019t the kind that you would remember anywhere, Like Legend Of Zelda, but it\u2019s definitely something. Some songs don\u2019t even sound very Kirby like http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=UkDC4ddXhpc<\/a> and some are just too upbeat http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=sbUEtAPdW-g&feature=relmfu<\/a> (I don\u2019t expect you to listen to all of them just enough to get what you\u2019re dealing with.)<\/p>\n

All-in-all this game is a fun experience, and filled to the brink with laughter, provided you\u2019re playing it with a couple buddies or my boon companion. No ratings here, just a solid opinion.<\/p>\n

And on a side note, I really want to do a Skyward Sword review, but I want to actually do a video review, just because I feel that a game like that really can\u2019t be done justice with me just describing my experience. It\u2019s one of those things that I\u2019ve got to show you, and then start yelling. That\u2019s my style. So, you can look forward to seeing that, and you can keep your beans cool. Good day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2,5],"tags":[523,522,524],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/604"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=604"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/604\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1117,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/604\/revisions\/1117"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=604"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=604"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=604"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}