{"id":599,"date":"2012-07-14T10:55:00","date_gmt":"2012-07-14T16:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/baconstripempire.wordpress.com\/?p=599"},"modified":"2013-07-17T08:19:06","modified_gmt":"2013-07-17T14:19:06","slug":"phantastic-game-reviews-legend-of-zelda-wind-waker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/phantastic-game-reviews-legend-of-zelda-wind-waker\/","title":{"rendered":"[Ph!GR] Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Mico Does Reviews!<\/p>\n

That\u2019s what I\u2019m going to call this from now on\u2026 I lied, I\u2019m not going to change the name, I\u2019m too lazy to type in a different thing every Saturday, or whenever I get around to it, I\u2019m sorry about that, I try to keep up with the high demand for my comedy, but I have a life outside of video games (No I don\u2019t).<\/p>\n

Today<\/p>\n

It\u2019s<\/p>\n

A-gonna<\/p>\n

Be-a<\/p>\n

Great-a<\/p>\n

Game-a<\/p>\n

I\u2019m-a<\/p>\n

Starting-a<\/p>\n

To-a<\/p>\n

Sound-a<\/p>\n

Like-a<\/p>\n

Da Mario!<\/p>\n

Geez, enough of that noise.<\/p>\n

Today, I\u2019m reviewing a game very close to my heart. It\u2019s stapled to my heart. Legend OF ZELFDA!!! DA VIEDND WAKEFRPOIJEFR!!! Sorry \u2018bout that. I got really excited about that. It\u2019s Legend Of Zelda: Wind Waker though. So, Wind Waker might arguably be the best Zelda game ever created, you can deny this, but you know that Wind Waker holds a special place in your heart, that place that you save for something genuinely inspiring. So what makes WW so awesome? Well, it\u2019s a Zelda game so it already gets like 50 awesome points automatically, it\u2019s the first great game for the GameCube, (It was released after Stairfax Temperatures, so it\u2019s got some tough competition) that adds another 25. Plus the gameplay is amazing and the art style is a welcomed change of pace, add anything else that I forgot to mention and you\u2019re looking at at least 200 awesome points, and those are not achieved very easily, I myself only have 32, and I\u2019m the coolest person I know. So, let\u2019s get right into the nerdy.<\/p>\n

WW\u2019s story centers around Link, he\u2019s like this guy or whatever and no one actually knows who he is, because no one has ever heard of this franchise\u2026 and some idiots call him Zelda, stop it\u2026 Zelda is a girl\u2019s name. You can name Link whatever you want, I always go with Broseph, because then people call him Broseph, (duh) which I find hilarious, you could also come up with your own clever name, like \u201ctool-bag\u201d \u201ccabbage breath\u201d or \u201cmoron\u201d, then everybody will thank you, but it will sound sarcastic, like, \u201cThanks for saving Zelda, moron.\u201d Which we all know is just the greatest thing ever.<\/p>\n

Anyways, you get the name-calling out of the way, then you start off standing somewhere on an island somewhere in an ocean that\u2019s somewhere on a planet, that\u2019s a vague enough description. And then your sister is all like \u201cGET A JOB!!\u201d she\u2019s a jerk like that. Anyways, Link steals her telescope because it may or may not have been his birthday that day, and it may or may not have been a gift. Then she forces Link to look around with the telescope, cause she\u2019s a jerk like that, then you see a giant bird holding a girl in it\u2019s sharp talons, they\u2019re hyper sharp, like look at \u2018em and die sharp. So this bird gets shot at by some pirates and drops the girl in a forest on the island. Now Link goes around stealing items that he needs to go into this forest to save this mystery lady, such as a sword and a shield, his Grandma has the shield hidden behind her back, cause she doesn\u2019t want her failure of a grandson to steal it. Eventually, after much extortion, Link gets the shield from his poor, now defenseless, grandmother. You adventure into these woods, save the girl and you win\u2026 until your sister gets swooped up by the bird\u2026 DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!!!!<\/p>\n

Now you have to join the pirates in a quest to save your sister, that\u2019s how it goes! Pretend you care about your siblings. Some stuff happens, you get shot out of a cannon onto the fortress island that the bird lives, you lose sword, you have sneak around place to find sword, you get sword, you use sword, bird chucks you to another island after showing you Ganondorf, you know, what usually happens to me on a Friday. Whatever, on this island you meet the King Of Red Lions, if you\u2019ve played Zelda games before let me explain this concept, he\u2019s like Epona, only a boat, that talks, and has a beards. Now you can go around the Great Sea with relative ease, because you\u2019re on a BOAT!! Yeah, that\u2019s a joke, somehow.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m going to say something right now, on a realistic rating scale, Wind Waker gets a 10 out of 10, that\u2019s how great it is, but almost every Zelda game gets that score, excluding Zelda 2, if you like it that\u2019s fine, but you keep that crap out of my house. If you\u2019ve never played a Zelda game before, this one is probably your best bet at getting started, it\u2019s not ludicrously hard, yet satisfyingly challenging, and it doesn\u2019t have a fairy, which we all know is the worst part about any Zelda game. My only complaint is that when you aim, the x-axis is inverted, which basically means that when you move the control stick up Link aims down, it\u2019s a minor detail but I frequently miss because I\u2019m not used to that crap man. You\u2019re probably thinking to yourself, \u201cHey, that\u2019s it? That\u2019s this genius\u2019s only complaint? Well, this Zelda vidyo gam sounds like the best thing since my last slice of bread.\u201d Yeah, that\u2019s the only complaint I have. Maybe the whole sneaking part in the beginning, but that\u2019s all I can think of.<\/p>\n

On my standard rating scale of Justin Bieber to talent. Wind Waker gets a bearded boat.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2,5],"tags":[523,522,524],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/599"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=599"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/599\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1119,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/599\/revisions\/1119"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=599"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=599"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=599"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}