Oh hot tamales! I\u2019m back, and you thought I was dead. I am dead, but that\u2019s beside the point, I\u2019m a zombie\u2026 Go brains! I mean *cough* braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaainss\u2026 That\u2019s how they say it, right? Right.\u00a0 So it\u2019s Saturday, and you know what that means. The weekend, but less importantly, I\u2019m writing a review right now. So let\u2019s get this show on the road.<\/p>\n
Phew, I\u2019m running out of breath, being undead is a lot of work, too much work for a zombie like me, you gotta shamble around, moan, and eat brains, it takes a lot out of a guy after a while, plus everybody else is trying to steal your food. And even getting your food is hard enough, humans really don\u2019t want to get all ate. I was trying to eat this one lady, geez, you would not believe the audacity of her husband, the guy comes running at me with a freakin\u2019 fire ax. Like this guy thinks I just come here to kill his wife, no I just wanted to take a bite out of her arm. So I\u2019m just walking up to this woman, right? And this fool starts swinging at me with this ax, luckily my bud Jameson was there, he totally gnawed that jerks brains out. Yeah, we ate good that day.<\/p>\n
Another thing I can\u2019t stand about being a zombie, is how scared people get of me and my gang, Yeah, we\u2019re a gang, deal with it. Like we come wandering into town, minding our own business, when this chick starts screaming, ok, whatever she sees a few strangers that look like trouble and she yells, I can deal with that, but then all of a sudden, right when we were walking over to calm her down she grabs her baby and books it. I love kids, man, and she just takes \u2018em and runs away, faster than any of my home-boys.<\/p>\n
The worst part about the zombie apocalypse is all the other zombies, sure a guys got to eat, but that chick with the baby who started running away got all eated up by some other zombies, I saw her first and these fools just go and get all that juicy human meat. I\u2019m a hungry zombie.<\/p>\n
Sorry about that. Review? Nah, I\u2019m just going to go shamble on over to my neighbors house to see if anyone is held up there, maybe offer them some help, or they can offer me some brains, either or. See ya round\u2026<\/p>\n
brains<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Oh hot tamales! I\u2019m back, and you thought I was dead. I am dead, but that\u2019s beside the point, I\u2019m a zombie\u2026 Go brains! I mean *cough* braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaainss\u2026 That\u2019s how they say it, right? Right.\u00a0 So it\u2019s Saturday, and you know what that means. The weekend, but less importantly, I\u2019m writing a review right now.…<\/p>\n