{"id":590,"date":"2012-06-10T09:48:55","date_gmt":"2012-06-10T15:48:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/baconstripempire.wordpress.com\/?p=590"},"modified":"2013-07-17T08:19:07","modified_gmt":"2013-07-17T14:19:07","slug":"phantastic-game-reviews-minecraft","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/reimer.haus\/bse\/phantastic-game-reviews-minecraft\/","title":{"rendered":"[Ph!GR] Minecraft"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Today is a day that a day does the day type things, what does a day do? Heck if I know. But today I will be bringing you another hidden gem that only three people actually read; you could classify yourself as a hipster you know. Just watching BSE and viewing the site is enough to make you a hyper hipster. You could probably go up to a hipster and tell him about this and he would have no idea what you\u2019re talking about. You would be so cool, so go do that, get the Empire the hipster demographic, and we\u2019ll make sure that hipsters love us. But today, I am going to talk about one of the single most mainstream games this side of mainstream land\u2026 MineCraft. Yeah, MineCraft. MineCraft is a game made by some people that had nothing better to do apparently.<\/p>\n

So, the story\u2026 There is none, you basically start off standing somewhere, looking like a tool. Then it\u2019s your job to make some tools, first you have to punch a tree, then you have to build a house, probably build a bed to cower in when night falls lest you want to be eaten by zombies. Zombies show up, and skeletons, and spiders, and these things called creepers, they are basically these green dudes that blow up all the time, and they\u2019re total douchebags. So you get your house built, it\u2019s probably made up of either wood or dirt, if you\u2019ve made it out of anything else then I hate you. So, you\u2019ve gotten the Crafting part out of the equation, now you need to do some Mining, you\u2019re going to need some sticks and some wooden planks to perform this task, you form them into a pickaxe and get to hacking\u2026 that\u2019s it. You spend the rest of the game doing that, but it\u2019s a lot better than it sounds, I\u2019m not doing it justice. If you\u2019re feeling creative, then you just have to funnel that creativity into some form of anything really, there\u2019s nothing holding you back, except for the laws of gravity and the laws of gravy. Gravity affects you, but not your creations, so there\u2019s nothing stopping you from creating a giant bust of Abraham Lincoln in the sky, if you want to risk meeting with an untimely death while working on ol\u2019 honest Abe\u2019s neckline, then that\u2019s something you should take up.<\/p>\n

Let me tell you a little something about this game, before you start playing it solely on my words. This game\u2019s graphics aren\u2019t as great as you Crysis players want, the graphics are 64-bit which, if you put two and two together, is no better than the Narntandoodoo shmexty-fire. One last thing about this game is that you get a certain feeling of loneliness, the worlds are huge, spanning as much as 6 times the surface area of planet earth, that\u2019s the planet that you live on\u2026 I hope. In these worlds it\u2019s just you, and maybe some of your friends, nobody else. What makes it worse is that in the newer updates you can find abandoned mine shafts, which shows you that somebody was <\/strong>there, but isn\u2019t any more for some ominous reason.<\/p>\n

MineCraft is a fantastic game, I know it, you know it, everybody knows it. Because it\u2019s true. I don\u2019t really have anything else to say about MineCraft.<\/p>\n

GETS A TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNN!!!!<\/p>\n

And a picture of a kitten<\/p>\n

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